Construction Zone

There are two ideal life-situations that are continually in the back of my mind.

- A nomadic life of travel, writing, and serving in other countries.

- The stable life with my own home, husband, and a job that is exactly what I dream of.

Right now, I have neither.
Right now, I'm a work-in-progress.

When I think of a work in progress, I think of the construction zones that I walk by on my way to work every day.  That place is annoying.  There is always dirt everywhere, it's loud, and sometimes they even block the sidewalk for who-knows-what reason so I'm forced to find another way, and it doesn't even look like they'll be done any time soon.  On top of that, with most construction zones, I always feel like eyes are on me as I walk by. I'm just not a fan.

That's pretty much what I feel like life is like right now.  I'm in this in-between stage of construction where everything is a work-in-progress.  I'm almost done with grad-school, but I still have two semesters to go, so no dream job yet.  I'm going out on dates here-and-there, but no official relationship, so no husband.  I have to work, so I can't travel as much as I would like, so no nomad life yet, but I'm also not settled.  I don't know where I'm going or where I'll end up, but I also know people are watching and waiting to see what happens next.  Which is a question I ask every day, because I don't know.  All I know, is that I have to just keep going, keep working.

There are days where that question weighs heavy on my heart, but then there are days where I remember the promise that God gave me.  "I'll take care of you."  He has shown that to me at my lowest points.  His Word serves as a reminder, that he'll take care of me. 

26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. 

Matthew 6:26-27, 34

So I don't know which life I'll end up living, or even how long this construction phase will last, but I do know that if I focus on it one day at a time, trusting God, and working hard, then I might just get through zone.  I might just find a life that I haven't even thought of, but God did, and He planned it perfectly (it's what He does).

So even though I have to walk through the construction zone every day, there is something that I can look forward. See, the construction zone will one day be a Trader Joes, and from what I hear about Trader Joes, it just might be worth the all of the dirt and noise. 

Lon, the Dependable Guy

On Friday night, a few of my friends and I finished out an outdoor movie season with the ultimate chick-flick, The Notebook.  We've all seen it a million times, and each time we swoon and cry to the romantic love story between Noah and Allie.  I mean, what woman doesn't dream of the day when the man of the dreams says lines like:

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday."  - Noah

Yep, SWOON.

But my friends and I noticed something different this time. We've always paid attention to Noah and his crazy passion for Allie, but now that we're all in our late 20's, early 30's, there was another character that doesn't get enough credit, Lon Hammond Jr.

Lon is the guy that Allie get's engaged too, and (spoiler alert) the one that ultimately get's left behind in the dust of Noah and Allie's "true love".  But when we were talking about the different guys, it was unanimous, Lon was the one we would all choose, because Lon was the dependable guy.

Lon Hammond Jr, was the faithful PI that asked Allie out as she cared for him.  He then followed-up on that date after he recovered and pursued her and asked her to be his wife.  He was the dependable guy.  He was there for her, which was shown through the fact he stopped a work meeting for her, called around for her when she ran to spy on Noah, and ultimately supported her even though she cheated on him.  They didn't fight and hit each other (which FYI - is NOT healthy) and they didn't make-out in the streets, but he supported her and wanted the best for her.  But she chose Noah.

There's a flaw in this kind of thinking.  Ultimately it did work out well for Noah and Allie as we see them grow-old together, but in real life, that is not always the case.  Hollywood and fairy tales tell us that we need those "fireworks", but the problem with fireworks is that they explode and then they're done.  Other times they don't go off or even explode unexpectedly leaving people with burns or missing fingers.  They are simply unreliable.

As I've grown older, I have come to appreciate the dependable.  I don't need a guy to send me flowers, I need him to show-up.  I don't need a man to write me poems, I need him to call me when he says he will.  I need to know that he'll be around the next day, no matter what.  I don't want the fireworks, I just want the fire. Fires, specifically bonfires, are more dependable.  Once they are lit, you just have to maintain them.  Even when it looks like the fire is dead, all you have to do is stir up the embers, add a few logs, and the fire will burn bright again.

I know the movie would not have been nearly as romantic if Allie chose the dependable guy, but in real life that is the kind of romance I pray for, the one with the dependable guy.  Some may say that I would be settling, but when I find my match, I'm in it for the long run.  So it may not be a movie worthy romance, but it will be a story that people will remember, for generations to come.

Moments

When you’ve been single for awhile, it can become more and more difficult to be happy for major milestones in your friends lives.  Engagements, marriages, babies, even someone getting a new boyfriend can be a ping to the heart.  After so many pings, it get’s harder and harder to not stop every time it happens. 

But that’s ok.  Take your moment.

Then comes the “encouragement”. “Your moment will come when you you’re not thinking about it.” How that’s possible I will never know because honestly, how will you not think about it, especially when the same people that say statements like that are the ones that continually ask you if you’ve met someone.   Unfortunately, those moments just add another ping, another quick shock of pain. 

There are moments that will help get through the pings though.  Those are the moments I cherish more than any date I’ve ever been on. My moments include a spontaneous trip to London to see friends, and explore the city on my own discovering that exploring a city on my own is actually pretty fun; going to the beach for the friends wedding and spending part of the day (before the wedding) on the beach, just you in your dress and the ocean.   Moments, when you walk home from work in a new(ish) city just because you can and moments when you finally put together your new bed in your new apartment, all by yourself. 

Those moments… those are the moments that will get you through the pings.  They help remind you that you can do this single life.  Not everyone can have those moments, but you can. So take your moment to catch your breath when you see that engagement picture of your friend that’s years younger than you.  But then remember the moment that you have yet to have, when you buy that ticket to visit a friend in NYC; or that moment when you are comfortable and confident enough to sit outside with your favorite drink, just you and the sunset.  Those are the moments that can help you get through anything.